Jain masterfully presents the differences as well as similarities between two cultures - India against the Western culture exemplified by American society. By doing this she showcases numerous circumstances with humor which sets the tone of this story to be lighthearted. The story abruptly starts with a random instance when the narrator's father similarly cc'd an email to her regarding a match he had found for her. She was taken aback by this spontaneous and incongruous nature of her father's interference in her love life. at the same time she realizes that this is seen as a normal thing in her Indian culture. This inciting incident leads her on a mental journey to analyze the dissimilarities between her native culture and the one in which she has been assimilated.
Jain, belonging from an Indian family is a second generation migrant as her parents migrated to America. As a result it can be guessed that by her adulthood, she has successfully assimilated into the new culture while still attached in some form to her native culture at home and with the relatives. Hence, underlying all the drama is a theme of cultural clash and the inner turmoil of a migrant child envisaging her marital status as well as social stigma regarding different things in both cultures.
The author says that she is in her early thirties which is regarded as out of time for conjugal relationships for a woman. Consequently, her father has been fervently active in trying to find a partner for her. By this point she had grown quite used to this treatment to such an extent that it felt like a part of her life which once would have seemed incongruous. She then proceeds to describe the nature of those emails sent to her, the straight forwardness and the cadour with which they were written. She asserts that even though arranged marriages seem simple compared to the western practices, there actually exists a myriads of obstacles that one must navigate through to find the perfect match. Every single attribute is judged to determined one's wealth, status, caste, dietary preference to make sure that compatibility is near perfect.
She humorously asserts that her father has eventually grown liberal regarding his choices with proportion toher ascending age as her pool of choices get narrower. She also ironically points out the hypocrisy of their system as her father hunts for a vegetarian guy. These criteria seem very stringent until she reveals that it only applied to the men who earned below $200000. She also recounts an early memory involving an injury during her childhood. Her mother seemed rather worried about the prospect of her marriage being affected b y the injury than her actual well being.
She also generates humor in the piece through uses of hyperbole like the Indian child learning the word 'Shaadi' i.e. marriage, right after 'Mummy' and 'Papa' to present the inevitability and inescapable fact of marriage in the Indian culture. A bit of stereotyping can also be noted (with perhaps a little truth) that the only careers approved by Indians were Doctors and Engineers. She emphasizes that it did not mean someone in medical or engineering but very strictly and exactly "Doctors or Engineers".
She also sheds light on the scene of matrimonial sites in India and their growing prominence. Her father has resorted to this site, similar to a newbie who had discovered Craigslist. One can, in a manner, shop for a partner in these websites as a normal shopping experience. They even have options to curate your preferences in different categories. She also notes that this is the natural evolution of the practice when these kind of ads appeared in the newspapers.
Although she has many complaints about this traditional way of finding a partner, she also is somewhat disillusioned by the western way of doing things. She perfectly juxtaposes the trend of dating websites against the matrimonial sites to find a partner. Even though the users and the purpose of these practices differ, they both seem like superficial ways of choosing partners. In one system parents choose for their children on the basis of status, wealth etc. while the dating apps have become a medium of quenching the thirst of immediate carnal need of bodily pleasure.
Hence, we can observe that on one hand she is very uncomfortable with he traditional way but at the same time frustrated by the so called liberal way of the western culture. This leads her to reminisce about her past relationships and how they failed. Her biggest complain about those men was the lack of certainty and their inability to commit to the relationship. On the contrary she praises the traditional system where at the very least the mean are certain about what they want or otherwise.
Amidst all this confusion, the narrator finds herself torn apart on the best way to find her a soulmate. She notes that event though arranged marriages lasted and brought permanence, it lacked certain element of excitement and spontaneous love. However, she is also dissuaded and disillusioned by her failed affairs and thinks that permanence is perhaps more important than excitement. Hence, embroiled in this dilemma she feels the need of compassionate love but she is unable to totally dismiss the traditional way for the sake of settling down before the time runs out.
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