I Stand Here Ironing by Tillie Olsen

I stand here ironing by Tillie Olsen is a short story that first appeared in Pacific Spectator. The story is written in first person format from the point of view of a mother of a troubled child addressed to the child’s teacher. The narrator is recounting her firstborn’s daughter’s troubled and precarious childhood. Hence the story takes a retrospective tone where she is reminiscing about her past and all the challenges faced by single mother in the middle of the twentieth century.

The story begins with the narrator ironing some clothes. While doing this task, she is clearly troubled by a summon from the teacher of her firstborn child Emily to discuss about her current situation. It is hinted that Emily possessed high artistic potential but there lingers perhaps a dark side to her that is kept hidden. Hence she goes journeying into her past to the time Emily was born and all the hardships of that time.

Emily was raised by the narrator as a single mother when she was herself merely nineteen years old. Emily’s father soon left them leaving her as a single mother. This was a hard time as she soon had to fend for herself and earn a livelihood. She recounts Emily as a beautiful child, the only child that was born beautiful child, the only child that was born beautiful. She fondly remembers her early childhood as a vibrant child who was giddy and interested in colors and her surroundings. She had no support as a single mother in her teenage, hence all her parenting skills derived from books. She remembers the time she had to nurse her and how Emily would latch onto her. However, times were hard and she had to work to make ends meet. Therefore, she reluctantly had to leave Emily with a neighbor and later with some relatives for extended periods of time.

When her financial condition improved, she brought Emily back but the once vibrant and playful child was no more to be found. She regrets how Emily cut her off and remained emotionally bottled up. She would invent excuses not to go to school but never protested outright. She ponders as to what had to be sacrificed to suppress this rebellion inside her soul. As time passed, the narrator started a new family and Emily got a stepfather. With time Emily grew up to be a frail and sickly child with episodes of anorexia followed by days of overeating. She turned out to be socially awkward with not much popularity in school. She was also sent to a convalescent home that did her little to no good. In contrast, Emily’s younger sister turned out to be a boisterous and confident child which further pushed Emily towards her sister’s shadow. However, unbeknownst to everyone, a comedic spark was fostering inside Emily. When she started performing in her school, she was met with cheers and approbation. This provided a kind of outlet for Emily.

The narrator comes back to present and is concerned about the reason of the teacher’s summon. She thinks that Emily has found her calling and discussion about her seems unnecessary as she will probably find her own path. She asserts that Emily is not like the clothes she is ironing whose creases need to be flattened, utterly helpless before the iron. The story is presented from a first person point of view and somewhat acts as an internal monologue. The narrator’s mind is conflicted as to why she has been called by Emily’s teacher. Emily seems to be the protagonist as the story revolves around her and in asense it is a coming of age tale of Emily from her childhood told by her mother.

In her childhood, Emily was a vibrant kid full of life. She was a beautiful child that was attracted to color, music, light and everything around her. She had to be left with the neighbor when she was merely eight months old as the mother had to work to sustain their lives. Soon after Emily’s father left the family making their situation even worse. Hence Emily was left with some relatives and upon returning she was a completely different child. It is clear that Emily had a hard childhood with little to no stability. This manifested itself physically as she grew dark, frail and sickly. She also developed eating disorders. It is also noted that Emily never threw tantrums which suggests that she had bottled up her feelings and grown isolated.

An archetype of “tortured artist” comes into play as Emily finds her calling in comedy and performance. This becomes a sort of coping mechanism for Emily where she can find a safe space to let out her pent up emotions. However there resides something dark inside her soul that has yet to be dealt with. The narrator on the other hand is not entirely reliable. She presents the case as to why Emily turned out the way she did by constantly providing evidence of their destitute and pitiful condition. There is a feeling of guilty conscience as she is painfully trying to exonerate herself for the murky childhood of her daughter. She is perhaps trying to justify her irresponsible actions and its consequences by appealing to her helpless situation. For instance, it can be conjectured that Emily was born out of wedlock as the narrator was only nineteen years old and Emily’s father abandoned them.

After Emily’s condition is worsened as she develop body dysmorphia plagued with diseases and grows sullen, the narrator does not make a conscious effort in understanding her daughter’s condition. Instead she starts another family and have multiple kids neglecting Emily even further. There is a case to be made for the narrator that she was a child herself when she had Emily and the situation she found herself was of utmost struggle. But it can also be observed that she wants a clean chit and does all sorts of mental gymnastics to justify her treatment of Emily.

The story presents the themes of single parenthood and its struggles, depression and guilty conscience. The story is set in America post World War II. This time period saw many Americans going through an identity crisis as the state involved itself in various global conflicts. There was a rise in hippie culture and nihilism while conservative values were in sharp decline. This is clearly visible as the narrator raises a child without a father and a stable family. They are thrown into a difficult financial situation as the narrator had to make a choice of abandoning her daughter to keep a roof over their heads. This period also did not have any support system from the state for the needy. It is clear that the past somehow haunts the narrator with a lingering feeling that she has failed her daughter. She constantly attempts to subside this feeling by analyzing her difficult financial position and the toll that took on her.

All this culminates in her mind as she is ironing her clothes. Hence the task of ironing acts as a symbol of a meditative function as she reflects upon her past and dives deep in retrospective. She is perhaps bothered that she chose to start another family that deprived Emily of the care she deserved. Narrator’s younger daughter Susan acts as a foil character against Emily as she grows into a confident girl and further highlights the desolation of Emily’s condition. Amidst all the turmoil, the narrator attempts to comfort herself by that Emily has finally found her calling into comedy. It seems hat she is still trying to dodge responsibility by not trying to understand Emily’s psyche. She seems to be in denial because even though Emily found comedy as an outlet, it is important to understand her inner problems as failing to do so might have pernicious effect. She asserts that it is best to leave Emily alone as it would be futile to iron out her defects where iron becomes a symbol of correcting ttol to improve a person’s character. Ultimately, the story depicts the first person account of a single mother’s struggle in raising a child and her guilty conscience in recounting her various failings that has negatively impacted the child’s innocent mind.